My six-year-old son beats me at monopoly. There, I said it. The first time it happened I figured it was a fluke but nope, he’s done it multiple times. I don’t hold back and it’s the grownup version of the game, too. I love watching him play, teaching him how to count the money and plan ahead, but most of all I love that we get to spend that time together. The truth is that I don’t intentionally make that time often enough. This post is a pep-talk for myself more than anything else. I wish I could say I spend enough time with my family face-to-face, but I don’t. So what am I going to do about it? I’ve found five intentional ways to have great family time. Game night is one of them, but why stop there?!
I’m not going to harp on all the negative stuff our culture has embraced. We all know we spend too much time in front of the TV, our cell phones, and generally staying so busy that we look up to see grown kids where toddlers used to be. You know it just as well as I do. So let’s focus on intentionally making time to slow down and rekindle the sense of love, encouragement, and fun that families should have together. I’m writing this as a parent to small children, but grandparents or family friends, you’re not off the hook. The same principles apply to everyone who knows another human that they intend to keep in their life.
Here are some activities I strive to implement in my house:
- Family meal time – no cell phones, one conversation at a time so everyone can participate, ask intentional questions that get the conversation started. And actually look at each other when we are sitting across the table, let them know I see and love them. It’s easy to forget to do that.
- Family game night – In doing this, kids learn sportsmanship, communication, problem-solving, teamwork, and self-guided entertainment. Quality time spent during game night is the most valuable thing of all. Just 20 minutes a week will do wonders for kids’ self-esteem and self-worth as a valued member of the family.
- Getting outdoors together – Nope, your trip to Target doesn’t count. Go to the park, find a trail to walk along, take a bike ride to get a treat. Find something that everyone can participate in and enjoy.
- Tuck the kids into bed at night – don’t send them to bed alone. Take the time to pray and to talk with them about their day. Vulnerability seems to increase at that time for some reason. Let your love be the last thing they experience before going to sleep.
- Go grocery shopping together – I want my kids to see how grown-ups interact, and to teach them patience and social norms. An added benefit is that we get to teach them from an early age how to pick the right foods, how to tell when fruit is ripe, and how to read ingredient labels. By the way, you can see our family food philosophy HERE.
None of these things are amazing breakthroughs in science, I just want to make a case for intentional parenting. I’ve seen my wife and I go days or even weeks hopping from one errand or to-do list to the next and never taking an hour to get out and play with the kids. I don’t think that anyone has ever said on their deathbed, “I wish I’d spent less time with my loved ones”.
My challenge to myself and to you has three parts:
- Talk to your spouse today and schedule a game night with each other and with the kids, if you have them. (Grandparents, that’s you too!) Bonus tip: when I was a kid we had special hats that my dad found that we wore on game night, this made it extra fun and special when we were little.
- Decide to have at least one meal together a day. If your schedule doesn’t allow this then you need to change your schedule. Seriously. Make this a phone and TV-free zone.
- Write down a question or two and have a face-to-face conversation with each of your loved ones. “How was school?” “Fine” doesn’t count as a conversation. Try to ask things that can’t be answered with “yes”, “no”, or “okay”.
Let’s end mediocre relationships with the people we love the most. Let’s be intentional about improving our time together.
Let’s end average together!
Post by Ryan Hansen, author of EndAverage.com – When being average isn’t good enough we look to the Bible for lessons on getting to the next level in Faith, Relationships, Health, and Finances. You can connect with him and a whole army of people who are improving their lives on Facebook!
